Archive for June, 2010

Eliminate Fear of Public Speaking With "the Esr Technique"

June 29th, 2010 by admin | No Comments | Filed in Linguistics


To understand how this technique works, it’s important to fully understand that fear of public speaking is something that starts and “lives” in your mind.

Sure, your body feels the sweating and the nervous stomach, but what happens BEFORE the sweating and nervous stomach?

The answer is that you are running pictures and movies in your mind that are making you sweat and causing that knot in your stomach.

I’ve discovered in the public speaking trainings I teach that the movies are different for everyone – everyone has their own “recipe” to create fear of public speaking:

Some people picture the audience laughing at them.

Some people picture the audience getting up and walking out.

Some people picture themselves making horrible mistakes.

Some people even picture the audience as being like giants, and picture themselves as small and insignificant.

Although the movies and pictures are different for everyone, the common denominator is the fact that they are picturing total failure, horrible humiliation, or painful rejection of some sort.

That’s what causes fear of public speaking.

Now let’s get to how to get rid of fear of public speaking… but first I want you to rate your fear of public speaking on a scale of 1 to 10 – 1 being least and 10 being most fear.

Imagine the worst possible thing happening when doing public speaking.

Now, how do you rate your fear on a scale of 1 to 10?

Okay, now let’s get rid of that fear: sit or lie down comfortably where you won’t be disturbed for a few minutes.

Take the fingertips of each hand and place them directly above your eyebrows about an inch.

Touch your forehead on those 2 spots lightly – DO NOT press and DO NOT spread out your fingers.

Now start breathing deeply into your diaphragm so that your abdomen rises and falls as you breathe.

As you breathe deeply, begin to think about doing public speaking.

Run the movies in your mind of failure, rejection – whatever bothers you most of all.

Don’t hold back, really let yourself imagine the worst most painful things you can imagine.

BUT KEEP BREATHING DEEPLY!

That is super-important.

Keep your fingers on your forehead and imagine the worst-case scenarios.

Keep touching your forehead and breathing deeply to your abdomen & keep running worst case scenarios over and over.

After a few minutes, you’ll be surprised and delighted when you notice that those scenarios don’t bother you anymore!

Now – sit up, take your hands off your forehead, and now rate your fear on a scale of 1 to 10 – It’s much, much reduced, isn’t it!

Repeat the ESR Technique until thinking about public speaking worst case scenarios don’t bother you anymore.

This technique is ostensibly very simple, yet extremely powerful, and it really works! And what have you got to lose? At the worst, you’ll lose a few minutes of your time. But the upside is that you might discover that your fear of public speaking no longer has a stranglehold on you any more.

For more public speaking training articles visit http://www.bestpublicspeakingtraining.com

David Portney is the author of “129 Seminar Speaking Success Tips and the founder of the Academy of Public Speaking located in Redondo Beach, California where he personally teaches specialized workshops and public speaking trainings. Visit David’s website http://www.bestpublicspeakingtraining.com

Fear of Public Speaking, Public Speaking Training

What if you could conquer fear of public speaking with a stupidly-simple technique in a matter of minutes?


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Neuro Linguistic Programming is a Powerful Tool in Assisting Change

June 16th, 2010 by admin | No Comments | Filed in Linguistics


The good news is that we all have the same tools available. It is a matter of becoming more aware of our toolbox and then making choices on HOW we are going to implement the tools.

Significant negative emotional experiences create beliefs that are not resourceful and cause us to focus on what we do not want.

Since the mind takes whatever you focus on as an instruction to create something, this is not resourceful.

To get what you want, you have to focus on what you want and have beliefs that tell your mind to create that result.

There are several kinds of internal representations you could make:

1. Visual

2. Auditory

3. Kinesthetic

4. Gustatory

5. Olfactory

6. Auditory Digital, which is internal dialogue words and sentences you say in your head.

You have a constant stream of sensory stimuli coming at you, which is filtered, and then you make a continuing stream of internal representations, which occur in sequences called strategies.

And though you are aware of some of this, most of it – and I mean 99% of it- is going outside your conscious awareness, automatically, moment by moment, for your whole life.

The feelings, behaviours, and internal representations are a circular loop.

Feelings and physical states help to generate behaviours and internal representations, behaviours help generate feelings and internal representations, and as we’ve already internal representations generated feelings and behaviours.

Step outside your box is a very powerful exercise. Just try it. Picture a rectangular cardboard box, with not top on it. Picture the size just big enough for you to be able to step inside this box.

Visualize this box on the floor, while you stand erect. Now image yourself stepping inside that box, and manage yourself to stuff yourself into the box.

Imagine that for no apparent reason, you’ve managed to live your life inside that box, thinking you had no other possibilities.

Instead you only had the limitations of the past, the way people have responded to you, and the way that you have progressed or not progressed.

Then look up and realize four things:

1. There is absolutely no top on that box holding you down

2. The moment you realize what a silly joke you have played on yourself, you can stand fully erect.

3. With an easy motion you can step outside the box, kick the box away, and never again be limited by non existent rules and beliefs that you have imposed upon yourself.

4. You have been living your life by a set of rules, which you took for granted and never questioned.

One of the reasons that most people don’t grow intellectually is simply because they stop asking the one question that every three-year old asks about everything: Why?

In every perceived problem there is a hidden gift and an opportunity. When you start to practice on a daily basis, to monitor by which rules you are currently living your life; you can start to choose those rules which will be more current and are more in alignment with who you truly are.

If you think that something outside of you is creating your experience or outcome ( rather than acknowledging that, regardless of appearances, whatever is happening is coming from something inside you) you will be unable to witness what is happening.

Instead your awareness will be busy looking for something to blame.

This phenomenon is called projection and it’s the kiss of death for someone who wants to develop expanded awareness and master the ability to create what they want in life.

It is important in the discovery of implementing the neuro linguistic programming tools, that you commit yourself to be flexible. Remain open to the field of possibilities and be an adventurer in your journey.

Make it fun and be forgiving with yourself and others when you make mistakes.

The most successful people in life they have made countless mistakes, and they have learned from them.

Taking action is a very important component in the journey of change and creating the reality you desire.


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How You Can Overcome Your Fear Of Public Speaking

June 15th, 2010 by admin | No Comments | Filed in Communication


For some people, public speaking is an ordeal. Speaking in front of an internal team is bad enough and this gets even worse when they have to speak to an external audience. There is the great fear that some of these people know more than you.

Knowing more is not the only qualification that is being considered in public speaking. Being a speaker means being a subject matter specialist on the topic you are to discuss with your audience, and the ability to bring it across to the audience.

No matter how well-prepared you are, you will experience the “butterfly” thing in your stomach which can cause you to lose focus if left unmanaged. Unless you are cold dead, you will experience the nerves in you and feel the usual symptoms of delivering even the simplest pep talks.

You Are Not Alone

In two separate studies conducted regarding public speaking, it shows that more than 40% of the respondents have a fear of public speaking and do not consider doing it in their lives.

In another related study of fear, 70% of the respondents ranked public speaking as something they will most consider as a panic situation. Additionally, more than 80% of the surveyed population would consider dying instead of delivering an actual speech in front of a huge crowd.

No matter what the circumstances are, handling a speaking engagement requires skills, intellect and time management intertwined to produce the best results characteristic of experienced individuals.

Tips for a Perfect Speech

There are rules and there are rules on public speaking. While you may have your own fears, there are things that you can do to speak in front of a large audience like a pro and create that good and lasting impression.

Not only will that effective and convincing speech delivery make you popular among the larger audiences, it feels good as well on your part for it is something that you can consider as part of your accomplishments.

SOme guidelines are provided below. These have proven effective for some people. Every individual is unique and not every rule will apply to every one. Try out each one. Pick out those that work for you and keep applying them. It will give you a good start in handling the fear of public speaking.

Your personality will be your auxiliary tool in choosing which among the recommendations listed below works best for you and will also provide you with the best oratorical output possible.

1. Fear is Human

To err is human, to forgive is divine, says the old cliche. While this old saying does not pertain specifically to public speaking, it gives an idea of human imperfection to everything else.

Although our technology has advanced a lot, our ability to commit mistakes is likely guaranteed. However, this same reason should not become a part of your excuse for unsuccessful delivery. Give yourself enough time to practice and master your piece!

2. Practice

For every successful oratorical activity, there are three things a speaker has to put in mind: first is practice, second, practice, and third practice again.

No one can underestimate the power of a constant yet effective speaking drill. This helps you memorize your lines and master them paving the way to creating adlibs as you go along the way.

3. Fill in the Bucket of Confidence

Confidence is what matters in any public speaking activity. Do not let the fear of a speaking presentation control you. Use these emotional and physical limitations to your own advantage and overpower performance anxiety to overcome the fear of public speaking.

4. Expect Nothing But Perfection

Nobody is perfect just as your audiences are not perfect. People fear speaking in front of a large crowd because they are afraid to fail. In a number of studies in psychology, the brain has an inherent ability to store any emotions, be it negative or positive, in the subconscious mind.

The subconscious mind as you know, operates on a non-conscious level of brain activity. It functions without you knowing and creates activities that do not come from your normal willing.

If you convince yourself into believing that you can achieve perfection in your target activity, there is a greater possibility of achieving it. Your mind prepares your body for such an activity and operates as if it has done it before and you will not feel as though you are new to it.

Imagine that you are getting a standing ovation after your speech. This helps greatly in overcoming the fear of public speaking as it feeds your subconscious mind. Imagining making the speech is not a good idea as you might see yourself making mistakes and this gets into the subconscious as well and may increase the fear of public speaking. Instead, just focus on a successful outcome and how excited and happy you are personally and how the audience is very appreciative of the content value that you provided.

5. Act as If No One is Watching

We sometimes fail because we set standards that are way too high for us to achieve. This limits us from achieving the level of success that we are capable of reaching and hinders us for further accomplishments in the task.

Your audience would definitely not want to see you trembling and communicate the sense of nervousness in yourself so you better hide it as much as possible. Do not make a big deal out of your own errors but instead move ahead and keep a positive outlook that everything will turn out just fine.

There is only one way to overcome the fear of public speaking. Do it and learn from the experiences.


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Public Speaking – Owning “The Skills”

June 10th, 2010 by admin | No Comments | Filed in Linguistics


People who get paid well to speak all share one of two traits: either they’re famous, or they own “The Skills”. To be able to move people who don’t know you as a celebrity of some sort, you must know how to keep your audience focused on you and your message, and how to keep them on the same page, on the same wavelength, every step of the way.

Keeping an audience with you is simply not possible with the way 99% of all public speakers behave when at the front of a group. When you speak the way most of us have been taught to do from an early age, you engage in behaviors that send the wrong signals to your audience – in many cases exactly the opposite of what you would like to signal. Worse, these standard behaviors actually reduce your cognitive capacity at the time you most desperately need it.

If these statements seem sweeping, please understand that we at PublicSpeakingSkills.com have been training people from business, politics, the military and the clergy for over 12 years in The Skills.

During that time, we have had the privilege to work with over 10,000 people from all walks of life, and here is what we have learned: 99% of speakers engage in exactly the same behaviors, and consequently produce similar results when it comes to the quality of their speaking.

In fact, in every one of our on-site programs, we begin with an exercise that “benchmarks” how each student speaks prior to training, and we are able to predict to the second what each and every participant will do during their initial delivery. To the second!

Good News!

But that’s the good news. It’s good news because we also know that most people speak the way they do simply because they’ve never been shown the proper way. And though many people take courses in public speaking in high school or college, the format of those courses tends to emphasize the content part of speaking rather than the actual physical behaviors one needs to understand in order to acquire The Skills.

If you have ever taken a course in school, we bet that your assignments were to create a series of different types of speeches: The Informative, The Inspirational, The Motivational, etc., etc. Sound familiar?

But what were you taught about the actual delivery, other than to look at everyone in the audience and watch your umms and ahhs? Worse, during your speaking career you probably have been receiving positive feedback for your behaviors no matter what you’ve been doing by people either too polite or simply not knowledgeable enough to tell you otherwise.

Speaking well: talent or training?

When people learn the proper way; when they understand what the audience expects of them as human beings; when they embrace the idea that it’s OK to go into a presentation without having spent hours and hours rehearsing it; when they become comfortable with not knowing what they’re going to say until just before they say it; and when they come to accept that often the most powerful thing they can say is nothing at all, they never engage in the old behaviors again.

They approach every opportunity to speak to a crowd with desire and enthusiasm, and the larger the crowd, the better. They actually see speaking to a group as one of the most relaxing things they can do, as it is one of the few times left in life where they are free to do only one thing at a time. These people have The Skills.

And we can’t emphasize enough that The Skills are, indeed, a set of behaviors that you learn, and not something that you are born with. Only a very small subset of people is ‘born’ with the ability to move a group to action with their words and actions. Those people have what the rest of us don’t: it’s called “charisma”. Charismatics have been known to lead thousands to action by the power of their spoken words, often for good, and sometimes not.

But charisma alone didn’t get Bill Clinton to the top job in the world. Bill Clinton, believe it or not, was not always a great speaker. What he had was both charisma and the brains to know that he did not know everything – and that becoming a great speaker was both an essential job requirement and something that someone could be taught.

Bill Clinton was one of only a handful of men who was elected president of the United States without great personal or family wealth. He got elected on his ability to motivate people to listen to him, work for him, follow him and support him all the way. He was successful because he didn’t simply speak; he spoke with a manner and a style that caused people to not only listen to his words but also to hear them, remember them, and to believe them. Bill Clinton has The Skills.

The Skills supersede genes, culture, background, heritage, and to a large extent even education. Many clients come to us because they want help with their accents or they feel their voice needs correcting in some way.

Although we grant that there are some people with a speaking voice better suited to silent films, for the vast majority an accent or unique pitch only adds to the level of interest they can create as a speaker. That’s because, as we’ll learn, these traits simply add to one’s “humanness”.

It’s about being you

People are not moved by messages delivered by speakers whom they don’t feel are “real”. And yet most of us were taught behaviors that cause us to adopt completely alien personas when we speak to groups. We try to become “Presenterman!” or “Presenterwoman!”. Sadly, Hillary Clinton does this. Could you imagine spending dinner across the table from Hillary Clinton and having her speak to you the way she does to crowds? Pretty painful thought! Yet you could pretty much imagine that if you were sharing dinner with Bill, or Ronald Reagan, the conversation would be not unlike how you know them to speak in public.

Alas, Hillary does not have The Skills.


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